It’s always a great time when Jim Sheridan, albeit a devout Kiwanian, visits our club. Not only is he a stitch to listen to, he really knows his stuff when it comes to marriages and relationships! Today, however, he shared with members a new program he and others are trying to secure grant money for in order to implement in various Lenawee County schools in addition to the LISD. The program is called “Relationship Attachment Model” and was the idea of Dr. John Van Epp who wrote the book How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk.
While the “life experience”, Jim said, that most high school students are most likely to get into eventually is marriage, learning the proper relationship skills while dating will be critical. Those “relationship” soft skills involve problem-solving, interaction, communication, etc. Jim is working hard to convince schools that it’s time to teach about “dating relationship” issues. We all know where teens are getting this info - from other students, parents, television and movies. They’ve been taught that “all you need is love”, he said! A few memorable quotes from Donald Trump (right before his third divorce!) Jim shared with us were: “If you’re in love, it should be easy” and “If you’re in love, it will work”, and “If it doesn’t work, you weren’t in love”!
The Relationship Attachment Model is based on a very simple concept: 5 bonding dynamics – things that will make us feel as “close as friends” which must be kept in balance in healthy dating relationships. Those dynamics are: knowledge, trust, reliance, commitment, and touch. Knowledge – the more I know someone, there more I am apt to like and trust them. If we don’t know someone, we probably won’t immediately trust them. Knowing someone and also trusting them allows us to feel reliant on them. A commitment, then, in turn becomes easier once we know, trust and rely on them. There are things involving “touch”, Jim added, that need to be explained to teens that nobody has ever bothered to explain. Bottom line is this: Dynamics need to be in a certain sequence in order to have a specific outcome. By doing so high school students are able to avoid the possibility of dysfunctional relationships.
Jim also shared with us Dr. Van Epp’s acronym – F.A.C.E.S. noting that the “F” stands for “Family” and how little thought unfortunately is given by couples dating as they interface in the future with the other’s “family” . “A” stands for “Attitude” or more specifically, “conscience” which allows people to feel what they’re feeling. “C” is for “compatibility” – a deeper understanding of one’s religious views perhaps, money and its value, etc.
Jim concluded by sharing this important fact from research conducted on the subject: when teens fail to spend 3 months in serious dating, they have not come even close to meeting each other emotionally. And, it takes 9-12 months of serious dating to really know who each other are. The sad news: few teens have been told this. The Kiwanis club, Jim said, was looking into securing state funding which will cost $400-500 per school for materials and the benefits would be enormous!
In case you did not happen to receive a note from Carol this past week, I thought it was important for you to know that our immediate past president has already joined a club in Plymouth, MI!! Here's what she said:
I hope my Adrian Rotarians are doing well as we all face this rather challenging winter. I spent Christmas in Florida and was soon sorry that I returned to Michigan's tundra. I miss my Adrian Rotarians and Adrian but am doing very well! I wanted to let you know that I joined the Plymouth Noon Rotary Club last week. Attached is a photo of my induction with my sponsor Mike Muma and Plymouth's Club President Tom Adams.
I look forward to becoming an active member of the Plymouth Club. I am settling into my new position as the director of the Plymouth District Library and my new home in Canton. I moved into an apartment near IKEA in Canton in the fall. This is just a 15 minute drive to my job but I am planning on purchasing a condo closer to work in the next few years. I would love to walk to work. Library patrons a nd my new staff (I have 75 employees!) have been very welcoming and I know joining Rotary will help provide a great connection with the Plymouth Community.
Our library is a independent district library which means we are own governmental agency with a dedicated millage. This is my first position at a district library which means I have much to learn but I feel very comfortable in my new position. The previous director retired after 34 years and has p rovided wonderful guidance as has my board president. I have spent much of my first few months dealing with building issues which as you know comes naturally to me. As things are settling down on that front I will be focusing on ways to support the local business community in the coming year. My sister & brother and their families as well as my and cousins live about 15 minutes from here so I have had the opportunity to spend more time with my family.
Please let me know if you coming out this way. I would love to show you around my new town and library. You can reach me at 248-245-5057 or carolsouchock@gmail.com I will remain a active member of the Art-A-Licious committee and you may see me in Adrian on a regular basis visiting friends.
Weather permitting I plan on visiting Adrian for the First Friday activities this week. There is a great jazz concert at the Adrian Public Library on Friday from 6 - 8pm. Hope to see you there!
April 5 – Eggs-travaganza – Bronson Gonzalez, Program Director for the local YMCA announced that he was on hand today to recruit volunteers for this annual event. He will be attending next week’s meeting to do the same. The event begins at 12:30pm at Heritage Park in Adrian.
May 8-11 – District 6400 Conference – Mackinac Island and the Grand Hotel.
May 19- Strokes for Students. Team #1- Chip, Kevin K., Rod P. & Gerry. Team 2- Need one to golf with Kathy W., Steve and Nate. Contact Rod Pender.
GUESTS
Junior Rotarians Paige Haufman and Allie Mohr both from AHS.
GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
Raffle tickets are being sold by the Rotary Club of Westland for a suite at Comerica Park complete with 3 parking passes, $300 food allowance for the Tiger Game with the Cleveland Indians on July 10th. Tickets are being sold for $10. The Adrian Rotary Club gets to keep $4 for each ticket sold by our members. See Kathye if you would like a crack at this great prize!
Kathye passed out order sheets and envelopes for the Vidalia Sweet Onion Sale today. If you are unable to sell/buy six bags, please plan to make a cash donation toward this important fund raiser.
An updated Club Directory is available at the attendance table. Contact Allen so that any errors or omissions can be corrected prior to the next publishing.
Mike was challenged by Rhonda to to bring in more in fines than the 50/50 sales today. He called on the following members to assist with that goal. Kevin K., Lisa, all of the UofM and MSU basketball fans, Patty, Dane 2, Brent, Kevin M, Chip 3, Rhonda 2, Greg A, Rod P, the "No bling" group, Frank D, Kathy W.
HAPPY BUCKS:
Gerry- Lenawee Life Long Learning has 150 participants in 10 courses.
Nate- Concert "Grand standard Time" which supports the Tecumseh Center for the Arts is April 12th at 7:30. $10
It’s always a great time when Jim Sheridan, albeit a devout Kiwanian, visits our club. Not only is he a stitch to listen to, he really knows his stuff when it comes to marriages and relationships! Today, however, he shared with members a new program he and others are trying to secure grant money for in order to implement in various Lenawee County schools in addition to the LISD. The program is called “Relationship Attachment Model” and was the idea of Dr. John Van Epp who wrote the book How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk.
In case you did not happen to receive a note from Carol this past week, I thought it was important for you to know that our immediate past president has already joined a club in Plymouth, MI!! Here's what she said:
April 5 